"For unto us a child is born..." 

--Isaiah 9:6

It's Christmas Day.  Where to even begin writing about this day???  Scrolling through Facebook this morning reinforces that Christmas means SO MANY THINGS to people.  It means family.  It means food.  It means campfires.  It means traveling.  It means Kitchen-Aid mixers. It means fruitcake, for some reason.  It means finding your truck that was stolen months ago (Jeff Hudson, I'm glad it turned up!)  Heck, it even means you might find horses in your front yard! 

I walked outside to check yesterday's mail, and there they were!  Eating my grass.  I looked around, half expecting a film crew trying to get a good laugh at my expense.  

Christmas means all of this....and it means other things as well.  

The rest of this will be quite transparent, but it ends well, so heads up....

Christmas is hard, and I don't mean financially.  I have actually said to myself this Christmas, and more than once, "I will be glad when Christmas is over."  And I HATE that I feel that way.  I really do.  Without full disclosure of the wherefore's and the hitherto's, suffice it to say that often times, Christmas reminds me of things I'd rather forget.  And that's where I found myself this year. 

I've really struggled with many things, as I suspect most anyone has.  I also was blessed in many ways as well, particularly with music.  I played The Nutcracker with Northwest Florida Ballet back in November, and that was then followed by 5 other Advent performances at various churches.  

I love music, obviously, but there's something about Christmas music....it is beautiful and haunting all at the same time.  During the rests, I listen to the singing...and when it's good, it'll make your spine tingle!  When I'm actually playing the horn, I'm so wrapped up in trying not to make mistakes, that I don't really notice what is happening esthetically.  When a gig ends, I'm kinda stunned, wondering "what just happened?"

Yesterday, I played two services in Pensacola.  One was at 4:30 at St. Paul Catholic Church. The next was at 10:30 at Christ Episcopal Church.  I took the gigs because my kids are typically at their mom's house on Christmas Eve--it's been that way since my divorce--so I figured some extra cash during the holidays couldn't hurt!  

So...about 6:00 arrives and the first service ends.  If you've ever been to a Catholic mass, particularly one during Advent or Lent, you know they are LONG.  They are also very solemn, and while I am not Catholic, I can appreciate their solemnity.  The mass has remained unchanged for almost 13 centuries.  It's a spectacle.  I watched from the organ loft as nearly 1300 people took the bread and the wine.  And from time to time, if I'm totally honest, my mind wondered "what in the heck are you doing here on Christmas Eve, you idiot?? Why aren't you at home??"  The service end, I change out of my suit, and now I have almost 4 hours to kill.  On Christmas Eve.  Alone.  In a town where almost nothing is open except Target and McDonalds.  And McDonalds is where I found myself after I spent nearly an hour in Target finalizing Christmas.  

McDonalds is not unlike any other fast-food joint.  But on Christmas Eve, it's different.  It's lonely.  Sure, there were lots of other people there.  Many were there in groups.  Yet they all seemed lonely.  I mean, I saw myself as unlike them...after all, I was only there because I was in town working and killing time.  But there I was.  

I texted some friends.  One of them I told "I'll never do this again."  Satan was slinging darts left and right.  I looked around wondering why all those teenagers weren't home with their families.  Maybe they don't have families.  Maybe they do and don't like them.  Maybe they've been shunned.  Heck, maybe they just like Mickey D's.  Who knows.  

It drew close to time to meet for the 1030 service, so I drove downtown.  Downtown Pensacola was lit up like a....you know it...a Christmas tree.  I found the church where I was to play, and remembered that it was the venue for the first concert I ever played with Four Seasons Brass.  Old Christ Church was built in 1832 and the current building was built in 1903.  That's not really that old considering Pensacola is about 500 years old.

So, we run through the music, most of it once because we're, well, pros.  HAHAHAHAHA.  But seriously, and then we took our seats.  It's now 10:30 pm, and I know that it will be 1:00 am when I get home, and in reality it was 1:30.  I was tired, and not just physically.  I was thankful to be playing, but I was tired.  We played several carols and hymns, and then the Rector got up to speak.  This is when the magic happened.  

He told the story of his son's birth.  The long and short of it was that his son was not breathing when he was born.  The nurses and doctors worked on him for several minutes before he started to breathe. He said he prayed more fervently than he had ever prayed before, and that his prayer was that he die in his son's place.   And in that moment,  I was back at Children's Hospital, Birmingham, on November 6, 2006--the day Drs. John Grant and Jeff Blount reconstructed by daughter's head in a mere six hours.  I remembered what I felt the day I found out she was to have the surgery.  I remember sitting down in the Milwaukee Airport when I was given the news.  And I remembered what it really means to love a child.  And most significantly, I thought about how much God loves us.  It's WAY beyond what we comprehend.   This sense of purpose came over me.  Purpose for why I was there.  That I needed to be there.  That I was supposed to hear that message.  That an evening in Pensacola away from family wasn't a total bust.  

It's really amazing how we get what we need at the moment we actually need it.  God showed up on Christmas morning all those years ago, as a baby in a manger.  And he showed up last night, reminding me that the world as I see it really isn't how it is at all.  I needed that.  And it came at exactly the right time.  

So...back to the top...I don't wish Christmas would just end.  I just needed a little realignment.  And it happened, last night, 80 miles from home, in a church building full of people I don't even know.  God is really something else.

Now...I'm about to get my kids and get my Christmas on!! 

Merry Christmas to you!!